With Children 18 Is Not A Magic Number!

    One of the things I find to be most frustrating is that when your child turns 18, at least in Michigan, they are considered an adult and your parental oversight is null! At 17 years of age your child can leave home and you can do nothing about it. Of course if he or she gets into trouble you will be held responsible, the school will still call you, perhaps the police will come knocking at your door, and there's not a thing you can do about it.  

    From the child's point of few, they will say, "I'm 18 and I can do what I want; I'm independent and can decide for myself!" Then, the next day they're asking to borrow your car or ask for some money. What really aggravates me is when I had to go along with my son to enroll him in a new school. I had to be there, but now, when I call the school to see how he's doing they tell me, "He's 18 and we can't share that information with you!" Who really believes an 18 year old kid is an adult? 18 is NOT A MAGIC NUMBER! Yes some kids are more adult than others at 18 and, yes, some of them serve in the military at that age.

   I remember back in 1965 when I was 18 years old and in the United States Army. My parents were no longer in control  of me, but the full force of the United States Army was! Yes, I had a certain amount of freedom to make choices but always within limits. They told me, in fact, what to eat, what to drink, what to wear, how to behave. They shaved my hair off. They even gave instructions on bathing! Not only that but they did a whole lot of yelling at me! Do this, do that, do something else; don't do this, don't do that, "you'd better watch it private!" I learned a lot about KP duties in my basic training... and I thought home was tough!  Not at all like this Beetle Baily cartoon!

    Please understand that I have three great kids. I'm not complaining about them. My oldest daughter is 21 and has been on her own. She's learned some life lessons. She's learned that it's tough to get ahead on a modest income. She's learned you can't always count on a roommate! She's learned that, even though she has been "on her own", that she's still VERY dependent on Mom & Dad, and that she really couldn't make it without our help. This is the aquisition of wisdom. She attends Ferris State University and has just completed a CNA class so she's hoping to get a better job. I'm proud of her because she's not only working hard, but she's also realized her limitations in today's world.

   My son is 18 and still in school. He's come to the conclusion that he has to complete school in order to get ahead in life. I will always be concerned about my kids but because he's not academic like his sisters I worry about him more.

    My youngest daughter is 16 and doing very well in High School. She's a sophmore and a junior fire fighter, almost a straight A student, and has a lot of potential. I have every reason to believe she will get a good education and will be successful in life. Of course, life happens!

    So you see, it's not the kids I'm frustrated with, it's the system! All three are Christians, and though they are not as spiritual as I would like I depend upon God's promises. For instance God says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) It says again, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) So, I have done, and will continue to do all I can but ultimately I have to rely upon Him. He is wise but the lawmakers of our state are not!   What's written into law doesn't always make sense in our individual lives. I know this, when my kids need wise instruction the lawmakers will NOT be there. When me kids need guidance, the lawmakers are NOT on hand. Mom & Dad will be!